Alright, so as single women most people seem to think a couple of things about us and the reason we are SINGLE- we are either mean or something is wrong or it is entirely our fault, and if only we would "lighten" up and live a little!! Well ---- NO!!!
I am worth so much more- than settling for what is good right now!! I know things are hard and companionship is a great thing- it would be nice to have an adult to talk to instead of a child- who wouldn’t want that! We all want that but at what cost? So you will find I am full of stories!!! :)
So I was going through something (I will share that story later) and I was having the BIGGEST Pity party I could have!! I was having self-esteem issues like you wouldn’t believe. I had a natural hair style, I was miserable at my job, my kids where losing their mind, and- and -I did not feel very feminine. I was praying and praying- Jesus- sends me a sign and answer, something -can you just help a sista out??? !!!!
Never thought to read the Bible!
One day while going to my favorite scripture I opened to another chapter instead. Isaiah 54 and my eyes landed on verse 5:
For thy Maker is thine husband; the Lord of hosts is his name; and thy Redeemer the Holy One of Israel; The God of the whole earth shall He be called.
And so the verses continues that for small time He hid himself from me but He forgave me and that my foundations are made with sapphires. I shall be removed from oppression, and not fear anything- and this was my heritage as a servant of the Lord! After reading this I said well Lord- why didn't you tell me all of this before!!! Lol- here I am for entire 2 weeks about to die looking for an answer!
My self-esteem had taken a serious hit! Combine that with a previous history of domestic violence- and all the negative thinking came right back and was running rampant!!! I just knew I was not worthy of.... anything... let along self-love, self-esteem and confidence!
As a single mother we often worry about everything in the world, from bills, to grocery, to kids, to the ultimate -am I raising my children right? Well sistas, there is someone who definitely wants us! That was the hardest lesson for me to learn. Self talk can often lead us down a destructive path -that happens so fast we never know when it started!
We have to be able to carry our children, our households, our extended families, our jobs and not to mention if we want to have a life of our own!! We are charged with an awesome responsibility - that is often taken for granted! We focus so much on others, that we leave "us" out and after a while it takes it toll!!
So on those days when we want to have a pity party, and we feel unworthy -just read the scripture (Isaiah 54:5-17) and know somebody loves you!!
So there is a little mantra that I say-
I FEEL GOOD, I LOOK GOOD, I AM GOOD...
and with that I walk out the door with my head in the sky!!
Hey guys!! I am J’Anmetra Waddell and I am survivor of Domestic Violence